An eventful weekend

On Saturday I graduated college!!! I am now officially a woman with a degree (in social work)! After what seemed like a crazy-exciting ceremony I came home to find my husband cleaning the house like a mad man. I could only think of one explanation for this...he was planning a party. Sure enough everyone was coming over to my house-SURPRISE! I am not very good with surprises lol My husband had only the best intentions but seeing as neither myself nor the girls were dressed it was not the best surprise. Once we were dressed however the party was great! A lot of good friends and close family all came together to celebrate my graduation. I have a wonderful husband who would do something like this just for me :) Fun times Sunday was mother's day. My first "real" mothers day. My daughter was home for this mother's day and it felt wonderful, however I couldn't shake an overwhelming sad feeling. It felt like something was missing...I spent most of the morning in a weepy state and just could not figure out why. I'm still not sure what the deal was. All I can think is that maybe I was feeling the pain and loss for A.J.'s birth mother. I did after all feel slightly guilty for wanting to have fun when I knew she was not celebrating today. I have been feeling that way for the past few weeks; like something is not quiet right. I feel as though I am being called back to Ethiopia...it is A.J.'s birth mother or someone else who I'm longing for?? Something is missing, I'm just not sure what. I do know this though I am blessed. I have an amazing family and having my daughter here now is such a miracle.

(My parents and my girls with me at graduation)

Ok,so I have been thinking of how to write this post for a while now. I am still not totally sure what or how I am going to say this but here it goes... I've always thought our adoption story would be like a fairytale with no scary or unsure moments, but I was wrong. Adoption is an act of God but even still it is messy. It is full of losses and new beginnings and with that comes bonding, hard work, and sleepless nights. This child that you have prayed for and longed for is not the child you envisioned in your head. They have their own way of doing things and boy are they stubborn. The sooner you realize that they are their own person the sooner you can start becoming a family. I had this perfect image of what my daughter would be like: quiet,easy to please, and cuddly. She is none of those things! :) She is constantly moving and always gabbing about something. She does not like for you to do anything for her unless it's exactly what she wants. She is not afraid to tell you "no" and is a fighter in every sense of the word. When I finally realized that this child was not going to be exactly what I had planned in my head I began to see her for the beautiful person she truly is. She is a survivor. She is a comedian. She is risk taker. She is an adopted child with a zest for life. This is who my daughter is and I would not change that for anything. I want to be as honest as possible with everyone about adoption; even my daughter. So I will also mention that bonding with your adopted child is laboring. It takes time and most often takes more time than one would hope for. We have only been home 3 months and it shows. Our daughter is attaching to us but we still have moments where she will go to anyone or not be bothered by the fact that we have left the room. It breaks our hearts when these things happen but we also know that adoption takes its own path and requires a great deal of patience. So this is us being patient...we may not be very good at it but here we are none the less. We love you baby girl even though you are nothing like we had thought you would be...you're even better...you're you!

Well I am officially a staty at home mom!!! I have finished my BSW (social work) and am going to spend some much needed time with A.J. I know y'all are curious as to what has been going on with us in the last two months so here is a short recap: A.J.'s walking has gotten a lot stronger She has also began sleeping through the night almost every night She can sign "more" She is still on a bottle but is slowly getting used to the way a cup works She can say Mama and Dada but doesn't use them too often just yet She no longer has giardia!!!!!! This is by far are favorite milestone lol She loves playing with Amel but she can sometimes get a little angry with her lol She has 8 teeth! Her hair is slowly coming in Lastly, she loves taking a bath! Ok, so now on to what we have been doing for the last 2 months. When we got home things were in a whirlwind for the first month. A.J. is a VERY active child and wanted to be going all the time. Little did we know this was a coping skill. Due to our lack of knowledge on coping skills we went out often because we thought thats what she wanted and enjoyed.Of course, this did not create the best enviorment for bonding and when we finally realized that we pulled back a little. We still go out but we dont go anywhere where there will be a large crowd and we stay clear of groups of people that all want to hold her. Her attachment phase has to come first so if that means we offend some people so be it. Of course, we don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but she has to come first. A.J. had also started daycare because I was still in school, but thankfully she is at home with me now for good. That was really an attachment killer. She began yet another coping behavior by not crying when I would drop her off nor did she really seem to care when I came to pick her up. This broke my heart...but thats all over with now, whew! Michael is still trying to bond with her because he works an hour away and does not get home until 7 so he doesnt get much time with her. She loves her Dada but it will take time, as all things do, to become fully attached. For now we believe we are on the right track and cannot not wait to watch her grow! She is already going on 18 months! Here are some pictures to make up for the lost blog time :)

Moving

Well we are in the middle of a move and life is hectic!! We have a much larger house now and thus we have much larger messes lol! We are hoping to be settled by this weekend and will be able to post some pictures and tell you about our life so far. Side-note A.J. turned 17 months this past Sunday :( I hate seeing how quickly she is growing up but I am so glad that I don't miss a second of it!!

My Ethiopian blessing

uh-oh!

Wow, I cannot believe that I missed blogging about our referral anniversary(3-06-11)!! I feel like I let myself down lol It's hard to even fathom that one year ago we were looking at our daughters face for the first time. She has changed so much in such a short time, but we are so blessed to finally have her home!! Things are still crazy here so I do not have much time to blog, but as soon as I get a break I will post an extra long message to fill everyone in on how we are all doing! :)

Finally!

Blogger finally let me upload a picture! Here is the most recent photo of my two girls! One month after bringing A.J. home!!