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Monday, May 7, 2012

Ok,so I have been thinking of how to write this post for a while now. I am still not totally sure what or how I am going to say this but here it goes... I've always thought our adoption story would be like a fairytale with no scary or unsure moments, but I was wrong. Adoption is an act of God but even still it is messy. It is full of losses and new beginnings and with that comes bonding, hard work, and sleepless nights. This child that you have prayed for and longed for is not the child you envisioned in your head. They have their own way of doing things and boy are they stubborn. The sooner you realize that they are their own person the sooner you can start becoming a family. I had this perfect image of what my daughter would be like: quiet,easy to please, and cuddly. She is none of those things! :) She is constantly moving and always gabbing about something. She does not like for you to do anything for her unless it's exactly what she wants. She is not afraid to tell you "no" and is a fighter in every sense of the word. When I finally realized that this child was not going to be exactly what I had planned in my head I began to see her for the beautiful person she truly is. She is a survivor. She is a comedian. She is risk taker. She is an adopted child with a zest for life. This is who my daughter is and I would not change that for anything. I want to be as honest as possible with everyone about adoption; even my daughter. So I will also mention that bonding with your adopted child is laboring. It takes time and most often takes more time than one would hope for. We have only been home 3 months and it shows. Our daughter is attaching to us but we still have moments where she will go to anyone or not be bothered by the fact that we have left the room. It breaks our hearts when these things happen but we also know that adoption takes its own path and requires a great deal of patience. So this is us being patient...we may not be very good at it but here we are none the less. We love you baby girl even though you are nothing like we had thought you would be...you're even better...you're you!

2 comments:

  1. Oh Megan, my heart hurts for all of you. Some parts of your post rang so true for me. It's hard when the child you have in your arms isn't the picture in your head. Evi is amazing, she truly is. But it took me time to love her just as she is. I know it feels strange to acknowledge that the fairy tale isn't playing out perfectly. I can tell you that, for me, I now much prefer the story the way it is. Four months ago, I'm not sure I would have said that. Luckily, Everly bonded almost seamlessly. But some kids take more time. She is "normal." You are "normal" too. You will get through this. Call anytime. We love you!

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  2. I just now saw your comment. Thanks for all you said it def makes me feel much more at ease. Things have gotten better since I posted that, but there are still days where I wonder who this child is and what's going on in her pretty little head lol. I know everything will work out like it's supposed to but it's hard waiting for that day.

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