Parental Sacrifice

Let me first remind that I am not one to espouse evangelism. I must, however, admit that in this adoption process my faith and my church are often appearing overly relevant. To this end, yet again, our minister and his sermon spoke to me and found volume in and to our time and situation.

This process of adoption has definitely changed the way I see everything. Everything. This week's sermon was titled "Why We Remember" and focused on Titus 3:3-7 (in case you'd like to reference this). Our minister, Dr. Bruce Tippit, always offers talking points to the congregation in the program. I found my connection, this week's relevance, in a modification of the sermon and the talking points. This week's talking points, directly from the program, were:

• God in Jesus Christ loved us in spite of what we could never be (Titus 3:3-4).


• God saved us in spite of what we could never do (Titus 3:5a).


• God changed us even though we couldn't change ourselves (Titus 3:5b).


• Jesus gave himself for us when we had nothing to give (Titus 3:6-7).

I thought the scripture which spoke of the grace of God in saving us without our doing anything to earn it and without any expectation of return was moving and spoke to the solidity of my faith. Making this even stronger, the scripture and the above talking points brought my mind directly to thoughts of our little girl and how we are in this process in very much the same way as was spoken in the scripture. To this end, I made a few modifications to the talking points:

• WE loved our little girl in spite of what we could never be. Despite all of the things that we will fail at in our lives, we decided that our little girl mattered more than our failures to be more than what we are.


• WE saved our little girl in spite of what we could never do. Despite all of the things that we will never be able to do (save the world, change all the bad, prevent all of our mistakes), we decided that saving our little girl was far more important.


• WE changed our little girl's life even though we couldn't change ourselves. Despite all of our failures to change the aspects of ourselves that need changing, we decided that changing her life-- her situation-- was far more valuable.


• We gave ourselves for our little girl when we had nothing to give. Adoption is expensive. Each time a moment arises, more money is needed, and each time we have miraculously had the money (through saving and through the grace of God). So... Despite the limited resources that present themselves to us, we give ourselves to our daughter.

Once I had made these modifications in the program, I showed them to Megan. She took my modifications and added our little girl's birthday to the end of each bullet in place of the scripture verses. Each talking point bullet now reflected my modifications with "11.15.10" at the end.

After a few moments it became apparent to me that there was yet another set of modifications to the talking points which equally applied. These modifications reflect the ideas of the sacrificial parent (God, and our immediate parents). These modifications made me realize that our parents made the same sacrifice that Dr. Tippit was talking about in his sermon. Hence, I modified the bullets once more:

• WE loved our little girl in spite of what SHE could never be. A parent, my parents, Megan's parents love without expectation of reward in the form of what the child will become.


• WE saved our little girl in spite of what SHE could never do. Again, no reward, no return is expected in the unconditional love of a parent.


• WE changed our little girl even though SHE couldn't change herself. Time and time again parents save and change when the person being saved and changed is incapable of saving and changing.


• WE gave ourselves for our little girl when SHE had nothing to give. This is directly applicable to our situation but is also applicable to the love of a parent to its child and continues to reflect the idea that no reward is expected.

In the love of a parent, in the love of God, in the love of Megan and I to our little girl, nothing but presence is expected. We have decided to make this trek to bring home our little girl despite what she could never be, never do, can't change, and despite the fact that she has nothing to give. Likewise we have made this decision in spite of all that WE can never be, never do, can't change, and with what little we can give. Ironically, God asks the same: we are asked to only carry the love and the living message and to remain present as Christians.

As we count these days, as these days rapidly pass, I am more and more aware of the changes in my soul as God prepares me and prepares Megan to embody his love and to pay his gift forward. We are ready to be parents and to allow our little girl to rejoice in the sacrificial love we have to give.

On this Memorial Day, I offer my remembrance to those who have served in the armed forces, those who have sacrificed in spite of all of the things listed above, to God (and Jesus Christ) who chose to sacrifice in spite of all of these things, and to our parents who have lived as models to the power and potency of true sacrificial parental love. I can only hope that Megan and I will continue this tradition passing it on to another generation.

Come, days, fly by so that we may board that international flight to lay eyes on our beautiful little girl.